An amazing red bra will change your life. I apologize, I have been holding out on you. Can we talk?! We have already talked about the fact that we can be our own best cheerleader by being careful about what we say to ourselves and recognizing all our gifts. However, there is another tool in our confidence toolbox that I don’t want us to overlook. Come closer, it’s a secret… I’m talking about your underwear! I’m not talking about just any old lingerie, I’m talking about that particular bra that changes your whole attitude the minute you put it on. It may be black or it may be leopard, or anything in between. But I know how a red bra can change your life.
[Note: My poor mother. She’s such a Southern Belle and she always hoped I would grow up to be a “Lady’. She’s already nervous because I’m often talking about punching stuff in the throat and now I’m talking about undies. Someone catch her, she’s about to faint.]
A red bra is the Loretta Devine (sexy schoolteacher) of all lingerie, it’s sassy and unexpected. Again, we’re not talking about a standard every-day bra (remember when we used to call them over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders?), but one of those special items that make us feel powerful, sexy, maybe even a little naughty. Imagine that you have a big presentation to make at work; if you wear your powerful red bra under your conservative suit to present your ideas, it gives you a little something extra for the entire day. You stand different, walk different, talk different… you feel different. And that comes across in everything that you do, it’s undeniable.
My theory about the power of the bra is not coming out of left field, there is research on tools that we can use to make ourselves feel more confident and in control that are closely related to my Magic Red Bra suggestion. First, we have all heard about the public speaker that imagines the audience naked in order to control his nerves.
Have you ever gotten a new sassy haircut or haircolor right before an important introduction or meeting? Me too! And who could forget Ally McBeal, who gave us a delightful glimpse into her thought-life by being helpful enough to provide a musical soundtrack for all her life situations. I loved those episodes where she focused on her theme song and how the melody, the beat, the very rhythm of the song, helped her remember how fabulous she was so she could bring that out in court to benefit herself and others.
Aren’t those three concepts really similar to my Magic Red Bra? Yes! A Red bra can be just another tool we can use, that does not have to be readily apparent to the rest of the world, which boosts our confidence and supercharges our lives. There is something positively delicious about the feeling that comes from knowing you have on killer lingerie, and nobody else knows it. Or is that just me?
When you don’t feel that you are looking your best it’s easy for that confidence assassin to tell you that you are ‘not enough’. That niggling ‘not enough’ doubt impacts the way you carry yourself and the way you interact with others.
The magic of the red bra is that it makes you feel good about yourself! Loving and acknowledging your feminine body is critical to your self esteem. Developing and maintaining a positive self image is one of our biggest struggles as women and it doesn’t have to make sense, but it does affect many of us.
If you watch TV, you might be tempted to think less of yourself or your self image because of the images you see in ads, etc. But the average woman in America weighs 164 lbs. and is a size 14. And, that doesn’t even matter! Do you know how little your self esteem has to do with your actual size? Very little. I know plenty of women who are bursting with self esteem who are ‘bountiful’ in size.
I was talking to a male friend about what makes him want to spend time with a woman, because I was working on this post. He had a couple of insights that were pretty fascinating:
- It’s not the bra, it is who is wearing it.
- Attraction has nothing to do with size, of either the bra or the woman.
His theory is that the same red bra won’t be hot on everyone, what’s hot is how the bra makes YOU feel. He went on to say, ‘different elements enter the equation’, it’s not just the lingerie. When I probed, he talked about things like personality, insightful conversation, values, attitude… and confidence. (He also said hygiene, but I wasn’t sure where he was going with that so I’m choosing to ignore it!)
The bottom line is he wants to spend time with someone based on their entire ‘presentation’, not just one aspect of the person. So how does this relate back to the red bra? If wearing that red bra gives you that attitude, that swagger, it adds to your self esteem, which boosts your self confidence.
Let’s test this, quickly think of 3 women you believe are fabulous. Got ‘em? Do any of them look like supermodels? If they do, good for them, I’m not hating. But, (I always have a big butt!) do you think they are fabulous because of their looks or because of other, juicy stuff? Do you admire their pant size or their confidence?
“Confidence is what you believe you’re capable of doing based on your life experiences. Confidence is about competence.” Tweet This
“Self esteem is what you actually believe about yourself and your value. Self esteem is about worth.” Tweet This
Improving your self esteem is not frivolous or selfish
Improving your self image might seem frivolous or at least, not the best use of your time. I disagree. Having a good self-image (which comes from self esteem) empowers you in many ways. When you love who you are, you feel more confident and confidence gives you the ability to do anything you set your mind to.
When you know you look good, you feel confident about showing up in the world. Whether we like it or not, we teach people how much we value ourselves by the way we choose to Show Up. Powerful women who are clear about their purpose and intent on influencing and lifting up others, do not show up meekly, with their heads down, blending into the woodwork and praying nobody notices them. Sorry, we don’t. We walk purposefully, we talk fast, and we boldly wait for people to notice we have entered the room, the conversation, the space.
If you own one, I bet you treat your hot bra differently. You may hand wash it, dry it in a special location, and treat it with extra special care. That is precisely the way you should treat yourself and teach others to treat you. Your confident, sexy aura comes from inside and nobody can take that away from you without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘Nobody can make you feel inferior with your consent’ and I believe her.
You can support your amazing red bra by adopting more of these behaviors:
- Stop sitting at the back of the room, leaders sit in the front row. That red bra deserves to be in the front row.
- Speak up, a woman wearing a red bra has something to say.
- Focus on others. Once your red bra (armor) is in place, you feel brave enough to take the focus off you and place it where it belongs, on those you can serve.
- Stop worrying about what others think, the red bra doesn’t care what others think.
The red bra is a subtle, hidden reminder that you are unique and valuable. A red bra can change your life because it impacts your self image and self talk but you will likely see many external results as well. People will react differently toward you, because you are showing up stronger.
What do you say? Do you have a magic bra? Or another ‘hidden’ item? Let’s talk about how you encourage yourself in the comments below.