Do powerful women have positive self esteem secrets? It seems as if powerful women know things that the less powerful do not. What could it be that these powerful women know? I believe they can identify healthy self esteem, they nip low self esteem in the bud, and they understand the source of healthy self esteem. I hope you have on your big-girl panties today because I may tweak a couple nerves. (You have been warned–if you are still reading, I assume you are appropriately attired.)Many women confuse their self worth with their net worth. ~ Allegra Sinclair
Powerful women do not believe their value should not be determined by their income or bank statement. Do you think a powerful woman would decide whether someone was worthy of consideration or kindness based on how much money they had? I doubt it. Shouldn’t we be as good (or better!) to ourselves as we are to others? If net worth doesn’t factor in when we decide to love others, let’s leave that out of the equation when deciding to love ourselves.
The way we treat ourselves is a big indicator to others about our self-esteem.
I often refer to myself as a mirror, reflecting what I hear others say about themselves. Powerful women understand that a true measure of how you feel about yourself is easy to discern by watching how you treat yourself. One my friends calls this, ‘how you show up in the world’. At the end of the day, if you put yourself last, if you allow people to treat you anyway they feel like it, if you accept and affirm the lies haters choose to tell about you, whew! These are glaring signs of how little you regard yourself, of how little you ESTEEM yourself.
Why Should You Care about Low Self Esteem?
Poor self-esteem can have incredibly negative effects on your life. People with really low self-esteem often become irrational, over-emotional, anxious, depressed, miserable, and angry. Believe it or not, our self-esteem shows up on our faces, in our body language, and in our actions, as well as our interactions with others. You may think you’re doing a good job of hiding how you feel about yourself, but it shows. I see it and it breaks my heart.
There are many reasons for poor self esteem, but one of them is that many of us spend entirely too much time seeking external approval. But self-esteem is just that… it’s SELF-esteem. And only you can decide when your self-esteem is at the level it should be at a healthy level.
I am not going to rat-tail about birth order but as a middle child I struggled for years with my place in the world. My other brother was the smart one and my younger sister was the cute one. In the meantime, I just wanted everybody to be happy and I thought it was my job to make sure that happened. My self esteem was entirely dependent on how nice and/or helpful people thought I was. Can I tell you that was exhausting?! And I failed a LOT! Not the best recipe for healthy self esteem.
How to Recognize Positive Self-Esteem
There are many signs that women with positive self-esteem have in common. Generally speaking, You probably have high self-esteem if you:
- Are very secure about who you are, what you stand for, and what you have to offer the world.
- Allow yourself to open up to others, sharing your feelings with zero fear or embarrassment.
- Can feel good about your accomplishments without downplaying them.
- Forgive easily. You don’t let the little (or even many big) things get to you.
How to Recognize Poor Self-Esteem
There are also a number of signs that women have low self esteem. If you are currently struggling with this, you may:
- Be very insecure in your abilities and decision-making, and are always looking for external approval.
- Hide your feelings, showing an apathetic attitude toward others.
- Rarely give yourself any credit when you accomplish something.
- Hold onto resentment for others and give yourself unnecessary guilt.
- Be resistant to meaningful, positive change.
Self Esteem Secrets
Ok, the scary lady will calm down now and talk about ways to improve your self esteem because I believe doing work in this area can absolutely transform the way you ‘show up in the world’ and usher you into a new stage of life that looks very different. The healthier life is more successful and you are proud that you have created it for yourself. Here are 6 easy-to-implement self esteem secrets of powerful women. I hope they help.
- Write down ALL of your positive attributes. What do you like about yourself? Your eyes? Your sense of humor? Your ability to appreciate art? Don’t stop writing until you’ve got at least 30 things on your list.
- When you catch yourself doing something you like, make a big deal about it. Humility is not always your best friend. If you can praise anybody else for doing something great, you should definitely be willing to praise yourself also.
- Treat yourself to things that uplift your spirit and satisfy your body. Pamper yourself. Get plenty of sunshine, go swimming, cruise around in your car for no reason. Just enjoy yourself… and being with yourself.
- Sin with purpose. What do I mean? While self-discipline can get you your desired results, build character, etc., etc., occasionally you need to take an intentional break. Indulge in your guilty pleasures, knowing full well that you’re worth it and that you can resume your disciplined ways very quickly. I am not giving you permission to abandon your goals in the name of sinning with purpose. Re-read the sentence, that is not what I am saying.
- Have fun, positive conversations with yourself. Make up jokes. Laugh for no reason. Compliment yourself in the mirror. Have fun with yourself and really enjoy your own company. I love busting out laughing about something funny from 2 days ago. It keeps people on their toes and it makes me giggle–a twofer!
- If someone is nasty or rude to you, know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s their opinion, not yours. Just remember this very powerful phrase, “Your opinion of me is none of my business.”
Adopting new behaviors to improve your self esteem will result in you being much more self-reliant and full of joy. You become a magnet and others will be drawn to you. Do unto yourself and others will follow suit. It’s not a secret that powerful women recognize that when you’re good to yourself, it shows, and others will be good to you, too. Does this make sense to you? Your self worth isn’t any more or any less than YOU say it is.
This got long, but I really want to hear your thoughts. I am appropriately attired, so we can talk about it in the comment box below.