The holidays can be lonely for a lot of people. There, I said it. Now we can stop pretending that everybody MUST have the same holiday experience. That’s a holiday lie. A holiday truth is that you can have the holiday you want, IF you’re willing to show love . What do I mean? Let me tell you a story. This is the Fable of the Christmas Songbird or how showing love can transform you.

Why are the holidays lonely for some?

Some people are lonely because they’re single.

Some people are lonely because they wish they were single.

Some people are lonely because they feel they don’t have anywhere to go.

Some people are lonely because they need some time at home, to think and plan for a better new year.

And some people are lonely because they have fallen for the hype of the fake lives being lived on Instagram and Facebook.

No matter the reason, the root of loneliness is a focus on self. Thinking back on Soraya the Songbird, please know that I am not minimizing anybody’s experience. However, I believe that you can stop being lonely and have the love and the holiday you want, if you are willing to give love where it’s needed.

What the Songbird Teaches Us:

  1. Focus on the impact of your love, not on the target.
  2. Expand your definition of family
  3. Focus on what opportunities you have, not those you don’t
  4. Delight in the changes/impact sharing your love has on YOU

Soraya’s fears over spending the holiday without the Clark family were greatly diminished when she realized she loved bringing joy to a family with her singing, and that there were probably other families in the neighborhood who she could give love. Acknowledging that she loved the impact of her gift and wanted to share it, even when the Clarks weren’t available, doesn’t change her feelings for the Clark family. She can still love them AND want to love others, also. What love/gift do you share that makes you shine? Think about your favorite impact that results from you showing love.

Soraya also realized that because she had been so laser-focused on the Clark family, she had neglected to notice whether there were other families who needed love. What opportunities are you overlooking to be part of a ‘family’ or ‘community’ right now? If you are feeling lonely, can you think of someone who has asked you to spend time with them? Perhaps there is an organization that is asking for volunteers?

Being Miserable is a Choice. #AllegraIsm Click to Tweet

My favorite lesson from Soraya is to focus on my current opportunities instead of past opportunities. Wow, I should say that 3 times. (Like, Beetlejuice.) Being miserable is a choice. And it’s a short-sighted choice, pun intended. If my arms are crossed because I feel like they are empty because an opportunity has passed, but I’m still trying to hold onto the remnants of that situation, how can I grab a new opportunity?

Are you unhappy with your life because you’re focused on what you do not have?  Are you missing opportunities because you’re focused on the past? Turn Around. Please.

Finally, giving love to others benefits me. That’s not why I feel I should do it, but that’s certainly a delightful side effect. Loving on others unconditionally changes me.
 I can’t help but be impacted by that. Some of that goodness splashes back on me and makes me even more who I am. More powerful. More focused. More fabulous.

ROL – Return on Love

Yes, I just made that crazy term up, but isn’t it fun? We are all familiar with getting a return on our investment, but let’s look at getting a return on love. Showing love unconditionally is the best way to make a positive impact. And the return on that investment is incredible!

Challenge yourself, how can you share love with someone new this week?
 Don’t you believe we have a responsibility to show up and be who we are? To shine everywhere, not just in a few ‘prescribed’ situations? I do. If your situation has changed, and your love is not needed in this spot, move to a new spot.

Do you disagree? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to chat with ya! If you enjoyed this episode please tell your friends!

Allegra Sinclair is a professional coach and confidence expert. She hates to see women living small and loves to help them change how they show up in the world.

You May Also Like: